Nimiety on the Niger by risa
By Mike and Dave
A cool breeze blowing off the Bani River descends upon Mopti, softening the brutality of the mid-afternoon heat in the ancient town. Two men dressed in Tuareg attire – flowing robes and protective turbans – huddled in the shade playing a game of Wali to pass the time, engaged but silent, as words required more effort than their effectiveness warrants.
A voice echoes from the stairwell: « Tout de suit, tout de suit », instantly disrupting the lethargy of the heat-plagued afternoon. « Tu dois partir tout de suite. J’ai trouver un Pinasse Marchandise pour Timbukto. Le bateau t’attends. »
The men look up slowly. Then towards each other. “Holy dirt! Dude! Giver’”
Unceremoniously, the robes are discarded and exchanged for matching Ho-chi Min T-shirts; ‘Faux Tuaregs’ exposed and familiar heroes emerge.
Cast of characters:
1) PEI Mike, resident of Bamako formerly of Oslo, expert moto driver.
2) TN Dave, resident of nowhere, drinker of enormous amounts of wine and coffee.
Stage left, enter ‘Palmo’ an excessively large jug, bright yellow, container of water, and soon to be basis for measurements of volume, height, weight, value, and general nimiety (Latin root word for “excess” as many of you will recall).
Scene ends as Michael, Dave, Palmo and two Malian friends run out into the streets towards the port in a frenzy that only the urgency of an imminently departing boat demands. Four hours later, Michael, Dave and Palmo are all aboard enjoying the sunset view of Mopti harbor as offered by a still anchored pinasse.
And so began the Nimiety on the Niger. Shortly after sunset, the pinasse departed from the harbor, entering into the main current of the Bani River, main tributary of the legendary Niger. Five minutes later, the pinasse pulls to shore for evening prayers and remains anchored there until two in the morning.
For three days and two nights, the pinasse served as home; a merchandise ship full of charcoal, watermelons, flour, and about twenty residents, only two of whom slept in Gortex bivies and used an unleaded fuel-powered Whisperlite stove to make morning coffee. The river itself ran a sublime, meandering course, nourishing the riverbanks sufficiently to allow green agricultural fields and mud villages amidst the encroaching sand dunes of the Sahara.
But this little river journey was but the first leg of the now infamous epic journey of The West African Shakedown. To describe this experience in its entirety would require a short novel, so for now we hope you will be satisfied with the following list of journey facts, highlighting some of the key aspects of this P’tit Tour du Mali:
Consumption:
# of meals involving rice and sauce: 59/63
# of meals involving rice and sand: 59/63
# of beers enjoyed over sunsets on the Niger: 5
# of gag reflexes while attempting to show respect by eating local millet based delicacy called toh: 3
Adventure:
# of “Welcome To” videos filmed with Michael’s digital camera (i.e. Welcome to the Sahara, Welcome to Sheep Transfer, Welcome to Couper Decaller etc): 17
# of fanciful stories proposed starting with the line: “When we buy those camels…”: 4
# of times seminal techno track “Brother’s Gonna Work It out” is heard while riding a camel through the Sahara: 2
# of nights slept at the highest point in Mali after a stunning sunset rock climb: 1
Travel:
# of people who vomited in our mini-bus ride into Dogon country: 4
# of flat tires on said van ride: 2
# of dudes who decided to move up to the top of the van halfway through the ride: 2
Palmo:
# of liters held by Palmo: 20
height representation: 1 Palmo = 2 ft
weight representation: 1 Palmo = 20 kilos
monetary representation: 1 Palmo = 4,000 CFA (8 dollars)
actual value of Palmo: apparently only about 400 CFA (80 cents)
percentage of people who asked for Palmo as we walked by them on our 4-day trek through Dogon Country: 100
Beasts of Burden (and other exciting fauna) sightings:
# of hippos: 1
# of horses: ~ 100
# of camels: ~ 1000
# of sheep: ~ 10,000
# of goats: ~ 10,000
# of donkeys: ~ 10,000,000
# of pigs: 4
Live and love life.
Dave and Michael
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